In Praise of Socrates, mediocrity, and stability with a subtle understanding of where Plato was coming from. © by Toby Jensen
The Middle Choice
Is maintenance growth?
As usual the conversation moves faster than I am able to vocalize my powerful thoughts. I struggle because I need to think as the conversation moves from subject to subject. I am a reflective thinker – a kinesthetic individual. At times when I am on my game and saying powerful things that move the group I am only able to do so because I have already thought through that line of reasoning OR I can adapt the current line of reasoning to what I’ve already thought about. It is very difficult for me to think on my feet. And almost impossible to think well on the spot. I usually falter.
We like to say that there is only growth or death because it get’s us off the fence. It scares us into taking action. It is time we faced that fear and destroyed it. It is time we took full responsibility and led a more peaceful fulfilling life of work, of working together.
The paradox of our need for stability and variety.
I once met an elderly couple who took me aside to share with me an easier way to live my life. It is difficult to remember where I met them. Possibly I was doing my laundry on a Saturday morning at the laundry mat. All I really remember was the light that seemed to somehow radiate from her body while at the same time there was a strange empty look in her eyes. We arranged to meet later to talk as they wanted to get to know me more after some brief chit chat.
Later when I met again with the couple they offered me a ride. As they were elderly, I agreed to go. I was a bit nervous going with strangers in their van but everything turned out all right. I immediately remembered the flat look in her eyes, her deadly serious tone of voice, and the light that radiated from her body and soul. All I can remember is how flat her look was, the depth in her black eyes, and the light from her body and soul that radiated goodness, light, and satisfaction. I knew I was in trouble. I feared for what was about to happen. I had no idea what it was. I had only just met her and definitely hadn’t had time to insult her as I seemed to do with most people during that time of my life. All I knew was that I was going to need to defend something with my life. And I had no idea what that was. I was confused and, well, my confusion was almost immediately answered.
Soon after I was seated in their van the wife turned to me and asked my why I worked so hard to get into heaven. Of course it was a loaded leading question and I picked up on that right away. But I didn’t know where she was going. I managed to mumble out some rote answers concerning growth but mostly I was confused and taken back as to what she wanted. And then she said it. She stated that she was saved. She had accepted Christ and was saved and that was all she needed to do. She declared with a certainty and conviction that she didn’t need to do anything more than accept Christ as her Savior and she would go to heaven. And that was all she needed to do in this life.
As I began to recover, my immediate thought was to expound upon my shock. I wanted to jump right in and express passionately and powerfully my ‘correct’ truths about the advantages and need for growth. I asked some basic growth related questions (that are not relevant to the discourse here now) because I knew in that moment who I had met. I had met a stable, good, and healthy couple. She had given up growth and not fallen. And I was frightened. Here she was the physical embodiment of having spent her lifetime without growing and still radiated goodness and a resemblance of joy. Man IS that he might have joy – I think now. NOT man grows that he might have joy. All we have to do is try our best and we will have satisfaction. Achievement is NOT related to satisfaction.
Instead of continuing down a path of interrogation, I looked into her eyes. I was astounded and amazed. I still saw from her radiance that she was a good and delightful individual. In her eyes I still saw a blankness – a strange emptiness. I began to look for evil and found none. Anyone who knows me knows that when I want to be thorough I am second to none in my search. I find what I am looking for and I found no evil. I was scared and shaken. I trembled and my voice broke as I spoke. I did not know what to do as I scrambled for the elusive cohesive thoughts of still wanting to convince this dear couple of the ‘error’ of their ways. But I knew there was no evil within this woman or her sound husband. She nodded her head at my perplexity – my complexity – and spoke.
The woman spoke of her desire to lighten my load. She spoke of her life in raising her children and the satisfaction of seeing them go out into the world. She spoke of knowing she had done her work. She spoke of having accepted Christ and needing no more. She spoke knowing that she didn’t have to work anymore. She spoke of rest and of relief. And I knew who I was sitting in the presence of. I knew who she was. I knew what she had done with her life and it scared me. Then I proceeded to resolve my fear. It was not my right to fear for her. I did not even have the right to feel fear in her presence. I knew it was wrong and disrespectful. I knew I needed to stop and stop quickly or it may be used against me. This was a good woman and she deserved to be treated as such. I calmed myself and then watched something incredible happen.
I saw this woman react to my stop. She knew that she was going to shake me. She had thought that she was going to shake me from my growth. She wanted to lessen my load and increase my light as she obviously had more light than me at the time. What she no longer had was the potential for a greater light. She had given that up and forgotten about it. It was this potential for always greater light that ‘saved’ me. How ironic is that? The very thing that she was purporting to have no more need of is exactly what was given to me in that moment to move me forward. In acknowledging and respecting what she was I was only then given the right to move on.
And so I saw this delightful woman react to my stop. I saw into her. I saw the emotional reaction. I saw her turn to be shaken. I saw just the beginning of doubt creep into her soul and thought. I saw her begin to shake. And then came one of the most astounding things I ever witnessed. I saw her stop. I saw her stop as I just stopped. I saw her use my stop that I had just done in the prior moment. And seeing her use it I saw her grow – for only an instant. She had been watching me deeply in my reaction to be ready to push home her point and could now use what I had done to stop herself. I continued to watch her. I thought I had freed her. I thought that this was it. I thought that she had changed. For I saw her grow. And for a moment I rejoiced.
Then this woman ceased her growth. The same growth I had just witnessed spring forth into life within her. I watched her cease and desist. I watched her lifetime of staying where she was at come into full force and crush what she had just done. And she settled down. She came back into her own and was satisfied. I watched even the memory of what she had just done disappear. I watched the discomfort float away. I watched the pain seep back down. I watched the difficulty of moral decisions drift into oblivion. And I still saw her satisfied. I saw her goodness and I could not deny it. I was amazed at what I had just witnessed. I knew who I had met.
And I became uncomfortable. And I owned it. I reveled in it. I rejoiced. It was all I could do and it was enough. I hope that I did it without offending this wonderful couple too much while I waited for the ride to end. I was extended the pleasant offer of rest and satisfaction as a true reality and I rejected it. And I felt a little confused in my joy – only a little. I had now achieved satisfaction in my growth and fullness of joy. For this is what it truly means to have a fullness of joy.
To this day I still use that confusion to drive me on. I keep it close and I stay aware. When I forget – no worries – it can come raging back in full force and drive me to my knees faster than lightning striking the greatest oak tree into smithereens. And I remember. I remember the pain – the slow limited excruciating pain while I am on my knees. Then I remember the endless joy. The unlimited joy. The unlimited growth. The potential. And I live. I live in fullness, in delight, in wonder. And I can stand up. I can take a stand.
I hope I continue to remember and live from there.
Thorough enjoyment, living full, achieving dreams and shouting from the rooftops are what await those who grow. To those who do what it takes to get the greatness that awaits within this life of opportunities. So grow. Grow well, grow in wealth, health, and all forms of success. It is the better path. It is the fulfillment of who we truly are and what we have in potential. But don’t put down stability. For it is only from stability that we can grow. If there is a top and a bottom there is middle. Respect it. Respect the incredible amount of work it takes to just maintain. Now we can distinguish that incredible amount of work required to only keep our place in line from the extra work of growth. Growth that – AT FIRST – is uncomfortable. We can achieve the self-sustaining work of growth to achieve lasting growth. To be able to create even life itself that will one day stand on its own within its own and for its own life and support.
Without the middle there is no leisure, there is no rest, there is no sleep. Literally, when I sleep at night I rest. I recuperate. I perform maintenance. When I listen I also rest. Without the middle there is also no listening, no meditation, no receiving of instruction, no planning, and no thought. Of course I also develop during these times of rest but first I must repair. I even stop growing somewhat during these times of repair before the extension and growth develop. Do I fall? Yes – a little. It is the step back. The step back that I must take in order to evaluate my direction and BE ABLE TO go forward again. SOMETIMES in order to go forward we have to take a step back. Use this fall. And use it well. It is how we are designed and what we are designed for. There is no longer any need to fear settling. There is no longer any need to trick ourselves into growth. That is all that Plato wanted to do for us. Fence sitting has its place. We understand it now. We can use it now.
Is there a way to eliminate the middle and only grow or fall? Yes. We achieve this in perfection. And we all know the realities of actually achieving perfection within this lifetime. The difficulties and realistic possibilities that to live in achieving perfection is a bit unrealistic in this life time. And not that we don’t keep heading towards it!
Well, there is a way to achieve perfection within this lifetime. A realistic way. An achievable way. It is quick and clean. We can achieve it almost immediately. But that discussion is for another time. A time in which you will not have to take my word for it but only recognize the proof in the truth of my words. All I will say now is the direction has been hinted at in this paragraph.
Of course you have the right to choose your own beliefs. And I will not refute nor discourage that. I will argue what I believe and sometimes even with passion but I do not want to be accused of taking your choice away. Literally we know from string theory that we can choose our own beliefs to come into reality. But that discussion is also for another time. Choose, and choose well for only our time is limited.
In Praise of Socrates, mediocrity, and stability with a subtle understanding of where Plato was coming from.
© June 6, 2009
By Toby Jensen
http://tobyjensen.spaces.live.com/
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